"Why I Want an AP Student to Take My Tests", a parody of "Why I Want a Wife" by Judy Brady
I belong to that classification of people known as AP students. I am an APER. Not too long ago an average classmate of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a failed test. He is looking for a solution to his problem, an AP student to take his tests for him. As I thought about him while I was doing my homework one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have an AP student take my tests for me. Why do I want an AP student to take my tests? I want an AP student who will study their very hardest, for hours and hours. I want an AP student who will put in the greatest effort possible to earn the highest grade for me. My AP student should have at least a GPA of a 4.0, preferably higher. I want an AP student who will give up sleeping, eating, socializing and all their activities to study for my tests. My AP student should be able to give up their life for me and my tests. I want an AP student that will go to the library constantly to consult the best reso...